The Costumer

Looking for an off-color, humorous costume? Perhaps you’d like to make a statement about the declining quality of the behavior of celebrities. In this economy, cheap is a trend–and these celebrity costumes can give you an authentic look at a low price.

Amy Winehouse: Michelle K. Miller offers a how-to if you dare to look like this drug-infested diva. Miller recommends purchasing a wig to avoid damaging your hair using possible more authentic Winehouse hair techniques (such as having a rat live in there). This is a great look if you have the desire to look mod and trashy all at once. Also ideal if you plan to do some binge drinking.

Lindsay Lohan: The epitome of celebrity train wreck, no one can look away from her. Lohan often forgets to completely dress herself, so you don’t require much fabric to look like her. Just put on a pair of oversized or aviator sunglasses and let some of your body parts flop out. For a dramatic touch, make sure to include a very public, very lesbian break-up. You could even carry around a picture of your Lindsay Lohan self on the cover of a magazine, looking tragic and forlorn.

Britney Spears: Ah, our most tragic of all dysfunctional divas. Spears has been in the spotlight so long, it’s pretty easy for almost anyone to portray her–even if you’re a guy who ‘Bics’ his head. She’s been too skinny, too chunky (although in her ‘heavy’ phase, she looked pretty normal in my opinion), praised for being talented, and rumored to sound like lip-syncing trash. You could be young Britney, professing to be a virgin, or more mature Britney, on a bend with a kid on either hip (please, don’t try this at home, or if you do, use baby dolls and not real kids, thanks).

Tips for playing a realistic Britney mainly include the makeup. No matter what Britney phase you choose to play, note that she always has the same distinct eye make up (pictured), now worn by nearly every under-twenty something in America. They call it ’smokey,’ but mainly it just makes you look like a slutty panda bear.

Consider going as a dysfunctional diva this Halloween! Don’t forget to send in your pictures to The Costumer if you’d like to be featured on this blog!

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